Considering how obsessed people are with their junk, it is amazing how long it took humanity to finally figure out what it was all used for. The clitoris wasn’t fully mapped until 2005, which you may recognize as being about 160 years after the general layout of the solar system had been mapped. To be fair, at least we don’t treat the clitoris like a campfire ghost story, or set people on fire for having an extra nipple, or assure women that the cause for all of their ailments was a powerful need to masturbate. If you’d been born in a different time, you’d have been 100 percent invested in all three of those ideas, plus a handful of other wacky beliefs about the human underwear zone.
#6. Testicles Were Sexual Ballast
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Testicles are ridiculous. They can’t stand it when it’s too hot or too cold, and they’re located in a dangerous place where they can get knocked around or sat on. They’re like a biological self-destruct button dangling around inside a pouch in the least defensible area of your entire body.
Because most of the people in history who were allowed to study the human body were men, and therefore were obsessed with the functioning purpose of the groinal meat-and-two-veg, we’ve known basically what testicles were for since at least around the time of the ancient Greeks. But the Greeks decided that firing babies into a woman’s body simply wasn’t awesome enough to be the sole job of the noble testicle and decided to add a bunch of completely unwarranted features to it, like an insurance quote on the GEICO website.
Via Taringa.net
“And put a ribbon on it, too. Why the hell not?”
Aristotle believed that the testicles were weights connected to the vocal cords through blood vessels. As a boy reached puberty and started to produce sperm, his testicles descended, thus pulling on the vocal cords and causing his voice to deepen, because “science” has worn many strange and fanciful masks over the centuries.
The Greeks were in a good position to test this hypothesis, considering they castrated people all the time. A castrated boy’s voice never dropped, which apparently proved Aristotle’s theory that the weight was no longer there to pull on the boy’s vocal cords. The idea was eventually discarded, and that is the last we will hear about male genitalia in this article, because men nailed down that scientific mystery a long time ago and were more or less content to leave the female anatomy confined to the realm of cryptozoology and superstition.
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Here we see the female human absorbing her new breasts through the mighty boob tree.
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